Awkward's Humour and Sillies

Computer Jargon 3

Are you Terrified of your Computer?

Are you terrified of your computer? Do you feel out of place and overwhelmed when your friends or co-workders start spouting reams and reams of technical jargon that you will never understand? Then this article is for you! We'll help you get over your fear of technical terminology by tickling your funny bone. We'll start with some definitions that should be true, and we hope are entertaining.

486The average IQ needed to understand a P.C.
State-of-the-artAny computer you can't afford.
ObsoleteAny computer you own.
MicrosecondThe time it takes for your State-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
Syntax Error"Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
(pronounced "gooey")
What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
Computer ChipAny starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.
KeyboardThe standard way to generate computer errors.
MouseAn advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
FloppyThe state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Hard DriveThe sales technique employed by most computer salesmen.
Portable ComputerA device invented to force business men to work at home, on vacation and on business trips.
Disk CrashA typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power UserAnyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System UpdateA quick method of trashing ALL of your current software.

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Last updated 21/06/2000 at 23:31