|Dilberted:||To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. |
Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
|Link Rot:||The process by which links on a web page became as obsolete as the sites they're connected to change location or die.|
|Chip Jewelry:||A euphemism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decorative ornaments.|
"I paid three grand for that Mac SE, and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."
|Crapplet:||A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet.|
"I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
|Plug-and-Play:||A new hire who doesn't need any training. |
"The new guy, John, is great. He's totally plug-and-play."
|CGI Joe:||A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.|
|Dorito Syndrome:||Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. |
"I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."
|Under Mouse Arrest:||Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct. |
"Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."
|Glazing:||Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. |
"Didn't he notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?"
|404:||Someone who's clueless.|
From the World Wide Web message "404, URL Not Found," meaning that the document you've tried to access can't be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man."
|Dead Tree Edition:||The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms,|
as in: "The dead tree edition of the San Francisco Chronicle..."
|Egosurfing:||Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers looking for the mention of your name.|
|Graybar Land:||The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). |
"I was in graybar land for what seemed like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."
|Open-Collar Workers:||People who work at home or telecommute.|
|Squirt The Bird:||To transmit a signal up to a satellite. |
"Crew and talent are ready...what time do we squirt the bird?"
|Cobweb Site:||A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long time. A dead web page.|
|It's a Feature:||From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." |
Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.
|Keyboard Plaque:||The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards. |
"Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of keyboard plaque."
|Career-Limiting Move (CLM):||Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. |
Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
|Elvis Year:||The peak year of something's popularity. |
"Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993."
|Alpha Geek:||The most knowledgable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. |
"Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
|Tourists:||People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs.|
"We had about three serious students in the class; the rest were tourists."
|Gray Matter:||Older, experienced business people hired by young entrpreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and established.|
|Bookmark:||To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor borrowed from web browsers). |
"I bookmarked him after seeing his cool demo at Siggraph."
|Nyetscape:||Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.|
|Beepilepsy:||The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. |
Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
|Salmon Day:||The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.|
|Shovelware:||A Web document that was shoveled from paper onto the Web, help system, or whatever without much effort to adapt it to the new medium. |
Betrayed by, among other things, papercentric phrases like "See page so-and-so," "later in this booklet," and so forth.
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