The Pyromania Purity Test
Check all boxes for which your answer is true...
When finished, hit the "submit" button at the bottom.
1. Which of the following have you done?
Seen a naked flame?
Sat infront of a open hearth?
Smelt smoke?
Lit a match?
... for the fun of it?
... and burnt your fingers?
... and dropped it?
... and burnt something on the floor?
... and burnt the floor?
Seen a bonfire?
Sat around a bonfire?
Lit a bonfire?
... with a couple of dry sticks? (boy-scout style)
... with a can of petrol?
... with napalm?
... with dynamite?
Set fire to a box of matches?
... whilst the box is still your hand?
Set fire someone?
... accidentally?
... on purpose?
... a friend?
... a relative?
... a stranger who was just passing?
... a police officer?
... your lawyer?
Set fire to a building?
... your house?
... someone else's house
... whilst visiting?
... on purpose?
... and no-one noticed?
... ... until the fire alarms went off?
... ... until the sprinklers came on?
... ... until the fire dept arrived?
Been arrested for arson?
... and been convicted?
Gauged everything around you by order of inflamability?
2. Which of these have you been called by people who know you?
Normal (yeah... right!)
Someone who always has a match/lighter on them
A bit of a flame-lover?
A reasonably avid pyro?
A total fire nutter
'You're Burning!'?
Inmate 2361
3. What happens when you light a fire?
Nothing?
You put it out?
You wait until it goes out?
You stare at it blankly?
You stare at it for so long you start to see shapes in the flames?
People gather round?
... for the warmth?
... whilst keeping their distance?
... ... about 50 metres away?
... ... about a mile away?
People start running?
... *really* fast?
The fire dept puts it out?
... with hoses?
... with several hoses?
... with waterbombing aircraft?
4. Have you ever tried to do any of the following?
Mix napalm?
... and use it to mow the lawn?
Fire-jumping?
... whilst *very* drunk?
Buy illegal fireworks?
Burn your school down?
5. When did you last start a fire?(PICK ONLY ONE)
Years ago?
Couple of months ago?
Couple of weeks ago?
Last week?
This week?
Couple of days ago?
Yesterday?
Today?
Couple of hours ago?
A few minutes ago?
As you answer this?
5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.. TAKE COVER!!!